A Journey of Faith
“Journey” is an interesting word to use on the spiritual path because, in the moment, you cannot see where “it” leads. In the moment, the doubts and fears may say there is no journey here, only dense woods. In the moment, the mind cannot perceive a path unfolding, or a higher vision taking root, or a master plan at work. In the moment, there is only presence and all stories fall away. Even the spiritual path itself is a story and can at times become a blockage to faith in presence. It is up to you as witnessing awareness to direct your mind to the presence of being, which comes complete with a deeper knowing and faith of a higher vision. Each moment presents the opportunity to see beyond your circumstances and know that you are guided by an untouchable Source within. Inevitably, the immediate circumstances will look to the ego mind like dead-ends, U-turns, and “Do not pass” signs. You are invited to surrender to what is here now and to the deepest intuitive knowing that pulses you forward. Simply ask, “What is meant for me in this moment?” That is all that is required. And when all logical calculations fail to provide any evidence to continue onward in this way, practice letting go even further. See how far your mind will allow you to fall and what happens when you truly begin to let go of the controls.
In the present, you may begin to discover what is meant by the phrase, “the journey is not linear.” What does it really mean to hear this? Well, if you were to jump to a specific page and paragraph of a chapter book, you likely would not know where you are, right? Assuming you were unfamiliar with this particular story if at least had not read it in a while, you might be perplexed by what is taking place in that scene. Even if you knew quite well how the story began and were assured of the ending, you would not necessarily recognize what is taking place in that individual moment and how it serves the whole. Your life is quite similar. While you may understand how you have gotten to this point and may even feel confident as to how it all unfolds in the end, in the present moment all story falls away. Just as you might do in the random chapter of the book, your thinking mind will attempt to hypothesize as to where you are on the journey. Are you in a current ebb or a flow? Are things about to get darker or lighter? How long will this current experience last? Maybe some days you are motivated by an energetic source to accomplish many tasks and see concrete evidence of your journey taking shape, while other days you cannot see even one step into the future and you are laid up in bed while your body rests. In both experiences, surrender is the only way.
The freedom of will exists only in the freedom to surrender and to forgive. Some days it appears you will get everything you want, and yet, you are not really the one making such decisions. Your ego will be humbled as many times as needed before you are ready to receive the rewards coming to you. Even as your life begins to change on the surface, you will be continuously invited to let go of attachment to anything you appear to “earn” since all is really provided by Spirit. Remember you are not the “doer,” you are the “surrenderer.” Therefore, you are not the one “making” things happen, which includes getting more of the things you like as well as less of the things you do not like. Your one true miraculous capacity is to marvel at the experience as it unfolds and practice clearing all blockages - all resistance - in its way.
Marvel at the body when it wakes at 4AM ready to face the day, and marvel at it just the same when it requires ample rest to ready itself for further transformation. The thinking mind will always be attempting to make sense of where you are this point in the story and what will come next. However, you cannot skip to the end of this book for it is not yet written, and pausing at any point to try and make sense of things will only cause you to suffer. Like pausing a roller coaster amidst several twists and turns, you will be disoriented and unable to discern right side up from upside down. You are only ever meant to see the fullness of the presence itself and to practice faith that all you need is available to you in the present. Thinking will only cloud your view and fill your mind with hypotheses and theories from an outdated framework, never fully caught up to where you are now. Even if your mind is like the analytical audience member who correctly predicts how the mystery movie ends, it will not bring you relief because you will never know until it happens. The satisfaction of the prediction will only serve to distract you from the real gift of faith. Let go of attempts to locate yourself at sea. You can only see where your are being led in hindsight because in the present, as in ultimate reality, you are timeless, at once both part of and separate from all stories. At times, you may feel the momentum building and trending upward, while at other times, you may feel yourself barreling down into the abyss. Embrace both with your one true capacity - surrender and forgiveness. This is the practice of Faith and the one true mission on your journey to the Light.