Life Without Punishment

Life is a strong wind that carries you along if you let it. You may dance through the air like a kite free to go where it is guided, or you may make valiant efforts to control each movement as if tightly grasping the string. The tighter you hold, the more you may punish yourself or others when your kite does not dance in the particular way you anticipated. It is possible to live a life without punishment. I am not speaking of the consequences you receive for your actions or the circumstances of life unfolding around you. I am speaking of the true form of punishment, which comes only from the self. Self-punishment is the most lethal form and you carry it no matter your age, circumstance, or level of success for as long as you choose. The quality and degree of your punishment is based on your belief system or conditioning, as well as your tolerance for life’s messiness. Living in a perpetual state of self-punishment means living disconnected from your truth because the truth of who you are will never punish you nor will it set such rigid parameters for how the journey is meant to unfold. You are a child of Spirit and, therefore, always forgiven, always invited to expand. When you practice living the way of truth, of compassion for self and others, you see that no moment, no matter how threatening, is inherently punishment-worthy. The evidence for this is in the simple fact that you have control over your willingness and tolerance for punishment. When you make a choice to live without punishment, very suddenly there is no punishment. From this awakening stems the quite obvious realization that punishment is a choice not a given, and if punishment is a choice in one situation, it is a choice in all situations.

Again, I am not speaking to physical consequences but to emotional blame. There will always be consequences for your actions as that is the natural ebb and flow of life, but your actions are not the only effect on your life. The intention and level of openness you carry in your heart contributes greatly to the landscape you see in front of you. So if you screw up on a test or fail at launching a business or get in a fight with your partner or miss an assignment at work… this is wind, and it carries you forth if you let it. You are always carried forth into the next moment whether you like it or not, and you have the choice of being carried gracefully or in resistance. Resistance equals punishment because as you resist what happens, your body resists the natural flow of energy and it contracts, tightens, and manifests disease. Release the tight fist of grasping at life’s circumstances and you will begin to cultivate a much different and more pleasurable way of moving through the world. Even your troubling emotion energy, your symptoms, or your dis-ease can be experienced without resistance, without punishment, despite how ugly and distressing they may appear. In the frequency of punishment, all appears stuck and the windows locked. Your brain may convince you punishment is the natural productive response to messiness, but in fact it is a barrier.

I invite you to practice going through a single day with a commitment to not punishing yourself. This may prove challenging if punishment is a normal part of your daily life, but you will see very quickly how addicted your brain has become to this response. No punishment of self or others does not mean no action. You may still take all the necessary actions in response to life’s circumstances, but you may practice doing so without punishment, without blame. Even if tricky emotions like grief, loss, fear, sadness, or rage appear, practice riding those waves and reminding yourself of your commitment for the time being. Remember that there is a medicine in all emotion states that arise, something to be learned from and released. In fact, the brain often goes to punishment in order to stop or cutoff the flow of emotions it deems intolerable, but if you practice saying, “No, thank you,” to the punishment reaction, you will allow emotions to flow through you much more easily. If you commit to this practice even for one day, you will be amazed at how the world within and without you changes. When you no longer tolerate punishment, you create space for actions and reactions to flow freely without the need for such illusory control, and you allow others to be in this flow with you. Naturally, you begin to feel your sense of worth stabilize because it is no longer dependent on things going a certain way. You simply are worthy. Furthermore, your actions and the actions of others become more guided toward support, collaboration, opportunity, and excitement because you are no longer wasting precious time and space looking for someone to punish. Suffering without punishment simply becomes pain, and pain is uncomfortable but it is temporary. Like a kite dancing in the wind, you are always in motion, always in rhythm, always in love.