The Body Holds Your Child Self

Learning to care for your body is the process of learning to care for your child self - your bodychild. The body is a vessel for your inner child and contains the unresolved fears, anxieties, hopes, dreams, and creativity that your child self contains. If you struggle to integrate these parts of self, look to connect with the body to begin this integration. Using tools like breathwork and intuitive listening, you can hear the bodychild speak to you and show you what they have been carrying. Your child self will reveal what is held in vital storage centers like your heart, gut, and root (base of the spine). If your nervous system carries primal fear, which most of ours do on some level, you can show the bodychild they are safe and can rely on you (adult you) for safety and security in moments of tension. The unresolved fears of your childhood are stored in the body and can be accessed and welcomed in. The process of listening to and caring for the child within requires patience, compassion, and courage - the courage to see the vulnerabilities that live within you and the patience to reassure your body while it reacts and gets triggered. The natural impulse when the body gets triggered is to blame the body and punish it for being so “weak” or “fragile;” this is often the case, as it was for me, in instances of chronic pain. The conscious mind feels punished, isolated from others, and unfairly treated for episodes of body pain.

I experienced this as a child with debilitating stomach issues and as an adult with the “CFS” label. However, the body is not to be blamed, it is merely a vessel for the unresolved conflicts of the child self - both the ways they have learned to cope with stress and the resulting conditioned belief system manifesting in the present. The various symptoms of the body are all manifestations of the child’s protest for unmet needs. If you have, for example, disavowed your child self, ignored their pleas for comfort, and sacrificed their needs for external acceptance, success, or validation, your body will communicate this in more ways than one. To care for the body, you must make a pact with your child self to no longer abandon them and to prioritize them first, above all else. You may feel like the necessary lifestyle changes are a “sacrifice” at first, but the true sacrifice is ignoring your inner child’s needs for all of this time. The self-abandonment is the true pain, and when you recognize how this part of you has been hurting and how you have the unique capacity to bring comfort and ease to it, you discover a world of power that has been sitting on the shelf waiting to be unleashed and integrated with your other strengths.

As you begin to show your child self compassion for their struggles, love for their gifts, and space for their creativity, you will begin to feel the integration and wholeness of who you are, no longer having to fight such conflicting identity battles within you. Your nervous system will begin to learn, upgrade, and rewire to support this wholeness, literally bringing oxygen to parts of you that have been walled off. Your brain will begin to receive different messages that support your worth, your growth, and your love rather than your lack, your longing, and perceived threat. The child self reveals emotions long overdue for release that may bring discomfort at first but also reveal the power and strength you have denied yourself all along. The power in your root and the courage in your heart may lead the way as you learn to dance with your bodychild. Breathe into these parts as often as you can and direct your awareness to these truths. When triggered, show your mind that the conditioned images of you as “weak” and “unworthy,” filled with self-punishment, is no longer welcome here in this body home. You no longer accept or tolerate this kind of self-treatment and you practice respecting the child as you would the elder. The child holds wisdom that your adult self cannot perceive due to its conditioning and societal constraints. Remember you are worthy of love not only in moments of joy but in moments of grief, of fear, and of pain. Your love is not conditional nor is it for sale. When the bodychild begins to trust you again, you will feel the freedom of being as you are, whole and accepted.

External conditions will change but inner conditions are sacred, always. From the moment you wake up, check in with your self, with your body, with your child. Notice what they are carrying over from the night and what they may fear for the day. Honor your commitment with a daily practice and cultivate the time and space to feed your bodychild all that it needs. Spend time grounding your energy in nature as well as clearing and channeling in meditation. Practice building a toolkit and use all the tools at your disposal. Notice where you are giving energy to others, to events, and to goals that are not in alignment or in respect of your child self. The child self is not the only authority in your soul team but it is a valued and respected member and must be reminded of this. You are not simply one individual mind, but an expansive awareness of mind, body, and spirit parts. You carry lineages of early life, of ancestry, and of past soul lives that influence, inform, and shape the personal reality you live in moment to moment. When the world feels as if it is closing in and your body cannot keep up, remember you are the awareness, the manager, the overseer, and the witness. You have the capacity to bring assurance and safety to the parts that are crying out. As your bodychild learns safety, trust, and integration, you create space for the excitement, joy, and creative vision that your whole self brings, to dance and love freely.