The Long Journey Home (Into The Wound)

The time has come. Everything the mind has set you up for slowly begins to crumble or reaches a screeching halt. You have no more prospects of escaping that which you are: a perfect soul scarred from the human journey and carrying deep wounds in need of healing. You might say, you were born to heal. Not everyone does, of course, but this does not detract from the original blueprint of your soul’s journey in human form. If you like, replace the word “heal” with “learn,” “grow,” “expand,” or “surrender.”” All such words convey a similar idea because nothing that happens on the earthly plane happens in vain. All experiences are witnessed by a larger Universal eye and stored in a larger Quantum Library for later use. Every thought, every feeling, and certainly every action is acknowledged by the greater force. Nothing is truly hidden or unseen even if it feels that way by the egoic self, which is mired in smallness and separateness. It is this ego that desperately desires to be seen, to be worthy, and to be made whole. But unlike the soul, which is already whole and destined for greatness, the ego cannot be made whole and is destined for failure. Nothing in the universe can be made whole. Anything whole is born of wholeness. Anything partial will eventually be stripped of its parts until wholeness remains. Consider the human being and its egoic pursuit for example. Nothing it produces will ever amount to wholeness. Yes, it may achieve temporary fame, wealth, accolades, valued relationships, or material success of any kind, but what is truly valuable to the soul and the Universe at large is something beyond the material. All material things fade and burn away. What remains? What did you learn? How did you grow? Did you suffer? Did you find peace? Did you heal?

In other words, did you finally allow the parts of you not born of wholeness to burn away and release you from the illusion that you are not enough?

When the soul returns to its natural resting place, what do you really think it will pride itself on? Worldly success? Maybe, if that was truly part of the growth opportunity for this blueprint and it had to learn some things along the way. But if worldly success was always predetermined, if it came easy, so to speak, because it was a natural gifting, the soul might feel fulfilled for honoring this aspect of your path as it has done many times before, but it may not necessarily feel it learned everything it came here to learn. No judgement of course, but there may be some things left on the table if all you did was come here and get rich with the snap of a finger. Likely, it will be more concerned with spiritual matters, things that last into the ether and cannot be stripped by the life and death process of physicality. This was never about all the things you “got” in reward for your efforts or your genius, but how you rode the waves and how you used your natural gifting in response to the areas of you that struggle.

You are going to end up where you were always meant to end up, especially if it comes naturally to you, but there will certainly be aspects of your experience that do not come as naturally, that remain mystifying and cannot be resolved quickly or easily. These parts appear like a mystery because you cannot see the whole map, but you were never meant to. All you are really granted is a compass, and you may feel it was faulty or broken to start with because of all the trauma conditioning you inherited along the way, but the way you learn to work with this compass and realign it time and time again to navigate the high seas, that is up to you and your willingness to feel what you must feel to be who you came here to be. So when the universe puts its brakes on the ego’s desire to “be somebody” or “make something of itself,”… listen to it. Listen to what is calling you. It may not be pleasant at first. In fact, you will likely resist, sometimes kicking and screaming, because you - the “you” who is identified with this egoic sense of self - feels halted, stuck, and restricted from your natural inclinations to progress. But there is no real truth in the idea of stuckness.

In reality, everything moves, everything vibrates, everything dances. So if you find yourself dancing in place, get curious. Is it possible that you are being drawn down into The Wound for a reason? Is it possible you are being drawn deep beneath the layers of your outer life to tap into the long-held secrets to this illusive sense of wholeness. After all, if the wounds you fear you may never heal lay deep within, how exactly do you expect to access them by continuously seeking what is “out there?” What you have been seeking “out there” has not come true because it will never come true, not in the way you envision it. Yes, you can “succeed” in the ways you desire and make things look nice on the outside, but the way you want to FEEL only truly happens one way, and that is by following the soul’s orders to surrender into the wound when it is time to do so. While all lives look differently on the outside, you can trust everyone will reach a point where the ego cannot progress as usual. The logic and reasoning surrounding your continued forward movement, your push for more, and your “just do it” attitude will reach its limit. Maybe you get diagnosed with cancer or lose a loved one. Maybe you finally experience this thing people keep calling “depression” even though you never believed in it. Maybe you stop sleeping. The list is endless. Your plans of constant success and upward trajectory will have to wait. The soul has another plan and it often involves a collapse of some kind. A crumbling. It is in this place that all you are seeking begins seeking you. It is ironic that you have been seeking things your whole life and yet you never allowed anything to find you on its own terms until you stopped and let go. All the things you really wanted, which all live inside you, begin to reveal themselves as feelings and beliefs you have walled off and kept hidden, even from yourself. Fear, unworthiness, doubt, shame, guilt, anger… you name it. These are the true things keeping you from your soul’s destiny. And the more you chase relief outside in the material, the more you wile eventually come face to face with these limitations, bashing your head against the proverbial wall, wondering why it won’t move according to your well drawn out and perfectly executed plans.

You can “manifest” all your dreams, all your desires, and still come face to face with The Wound because the soul does not actually care how much you succeed nor is The Wound actually a sign of failure. The deep wound of your humanness does not resolve based on how much you achieve, it only cares how safe you feel to be with it - the parts that never felt worthy or whole to begin with. Because at some point on the human journey you were left feeling destitute, helpless, hopeless, raw, unprotected, unsafe, fearful, and small. This was not by accident. These are things you came here to heal.

So, at some point you will be asked, “Are you ready?” Are you ready to feel again, all the ways you once felt, in service of something new?

Your feelings do not define you any more than your worldly successes or perceived failures, but they do offer keys to a universe beyond the one you can physically see and touch. Thoughts and feelings invite you into the beyond, into places you can only travel in the mind, in the heart, or in dreams. They have no barrier, no limitation besides the ones you have self-imposed out of fear. If you are willing to sit with these inner restrictions, you will be granted access to the true, limitless nature of your being, of your soul, which naturally soars abundantly.

No matter how it looks on the surface, you are not alone in how the wound feels. Everyone’s got one and everybody feels it not matter how fast they run. It feels bad. It feels lonely, stuck, dark, depressing, and scary. This is by design. You cannot fight it. Not because it is a losing battle, but because your journey is actually a surrender experiment destined for letting go.

Look around you, how is all the fighting going?

Is everyone winning their battles of choice? Whether by actual weapons of mass destruction or words on a keyboard that enrage with weapons of mass opinion?

Now look inside, how is all the fighting going?

Are you winning your wars waged against the “dark"?” The “shadow?” No. You are not. There is no winning. You cannot manifest yourself away from this. You cannot bring in enough Light to eradicate the shadow because the shadow is PART of the Light. It is a part of you. And it needs acknowledgement or else it will put binders on everything in your world until you are forced to come home to it, to the wound that makes you human and to the womb from which you came. It is all in there, inside you, waiting to be acknowledged. This is the long journey Home.

Are you ready?