Knowing Your Nature Pt. II
When you begin to peel away the layers of your experience, you start to get clear on what is not you. Surprise, most of what you experience and identify with is not you. Only your awareness of being can be directly experienced. All else is perception, positionality, belief, sensation, emotion, thought, or memory, all of which is interpreted or filtered by the conditioned mind. But still, you must play the game of human relationships and circumstances so you can understand your “personality” a bit better. As you detach from the expression of your personality, it becomes easier to see in broad daylight with less reactivity and impulse to hide. Often we showcase the personality we believe is expected of us and rarely showcase the raw underbelly of who we are, the vulnerabilities we carry around in fear of being exposed, holding up this conditioned personality like a house of cards. The personality is conditioned based on several factors, including what I would call your “nature.” By this I mean your natural tendencies, gifts, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and desires. You have a nature as well as an aligned purpose to play out in this life if you wish. Through the wringer of childhood, your nature gets poked and prodded and your brain attempts to protect you based on survival wiring. You people-please, hide, or lash out, all to protect this nature from rejection, for if you were to reveal your nature and be rejected, the beliefs of separateness, abandonment, and unworthiness would appear true. The acts of protection that guard against your deepest vulnerabilities are nothing more than attempts at survival and love, but they play an important role as you peel back layers of what you are not to discover more of who you are and desire to be. Through this peeling process, you learn relative truths about your personality in the relational game of life that you play while you are here. Often we need to experience the feelings of separateness so we may grow through them and understand our deep, abiding connectedness to source and all things. The game of Earth is rife with separateness, confusion, shame, and apparent rejection until we see that no amount of poking or prodding could untether us from our nature and from the ultimate Nature of all things.
The true nature of this life is not relational, as many therapists might claim. No, this life is about you and only you. All of this is a reflection of you - your family, your peers, your circumstances. It is, in fact, all about you! The common misconception is that this statement is somehow “selfish” or grandiose. Contrary to this belief, the fact that life is all about you amplifies the realization that everyone else is playing the same game. Some misinterpret this game as meaning we must compete since everyone must be chasing the same limited prize. The real spiritual truth is that there is no real competition and there is more than enough of every experience to go around. Since all of life is based solely on your own willingness and readiness to be free of limitation, no one else can actually stand in your way other than to serve you as an invitation to expand. You are here to play out various experiences that you desire and which help you learn and grow. There is no shortage of educational resources. All of life is your medicine and your teacher. The idea of selfishness is based on scarcity, lack, and need, but from this perspective, life is abundant and so are you. All you need is here for you and all is provided. You choose to have relationships that you can enjoy and learn from, but the lessons come from within. The love you feel from romance, family, or life partners is a form of self-pleasure. It is the pleasure of recognizing your love for self through the eyes of another. All love is self-love. Again, this is not some form of narcissism, which is based in lack and perceived scarcity of love. True self-love is based on the recognition that all relationships are mirrors - windows - into your capacity for love of self. If your capacity is constricted, your relationships will mirror this, though if you say “Yes” to the healing path and begin to expand and remember this capacity for love of self, you will call in the necessary role players in your life to mirror this vibrational frequency and reward your growth.
With a clearer understanding of your nature, you also get clearer on the nature of others, which allows for greater compassion and less judgment. Some look to astrology, psychology, or other frameworks to go deeper into the realm of who they are on the level of personality. This can be very effective, though can also lead to the same identity boxes and traps that limit true freedom and expansion in every moment. Knowing yourself is not about directing the personality, but being willing to not know what comes next. Similarly, you may try just as hard to understand others and the world to make sense of things, keep you in control, and safe, but others and the world are merely reflections of you, and since you cannot figure yourself out in this way, you will not be able to “figure out” the world either. The best you can do is remain curious about who you can be and how you can show up in the world in every moment, while welcoming in whatever decides to show up with open arms. Question everything that does not feel good or represent the highest version of yourself and continue to be curious about what is blocking your Light in every moment. To know your nature is to be in alignment with your bliss, so simply notice when it is not present and what stands in your way.
As you begin to peel away the layers of approval, validation, and success as defined by others, you will naturally reveal a more naked truth about yourself and what you have come here to do in this life. As it turns out, your nature does not need to be chased, hunted, or achieved, it is simply there waiting for you upon settling down and getting quiet. From this space of presence and quietude, the energetic body will awaken and lead you closer to a more aligned vision. As the Light of your awareness expands, so does your capacity to dance and play with the personality. You can watch it change, blossom, and shed its skin. You may come closer to your childlike nature, the simple joyfulness of being that you once had before it was layered over with fears and expectations. Your personality can evolve out of this conditioning to become a purer manifestation of your natural desires, and through this expression your experiences will begin to reflect back who you truly are and desire to be in this human form. All will simply fold into or scaffold what already lives within and what is waiting to be discovered. So relax, your truth is not going anywhere nor does it live somewhere out “there.” It can be accessed at any time by coming home into yourself, into your Light, into your awareness of Being. All that needs to be triggered will be triggered. All that needs to be let go will be let go. All that needs to be known, expressed, and danced with can be surrendered into the flames of existence, trusting they will be returned to you as the bright embers of a magical life.